My ASAW

Written by AUREA News Feed Team

Word Count: 1531 words

Estimated reading time: approx. 8 minutes

Welcome back to the AUREA series exploring community submissions on a specific topic! Last time we asked folks what their Aromantic fantasy world was. This time, we asked what everyone’s experience of Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week [ASAW] was, and some other ASAW related questions. The following is a collection of reader submitted experiences and thoughts. Their answers detail personal stories, thoughts, and feelings. Apart from general grammar edits, these submissions have been published as submitted.

Question 1: What does aromantic awareness mean to you? What does it look like in your country/community?

Aromantic Awareness means something rather sacred to me, for I get to better connect with a community of people who exist outside of romantic love (or for some, sometimes outside of romantic love), which has been deemed so strongly as what "makes us human." We get to defy society by our existence and better uplift one another, and see what we need as a community. Living in Kentucky, there are in-general queer spaces that I could attend during June or during other months that hold queer-specific events, like July or October, but being a Southern/Midwestern State, it has slowly become less of a safe space for queer people and aromantic-specific spaces don't exist outside of a few University campuses that I am not even a part of.

-Memphis (Kentucky, US)

Personally to me right now, it means to wear my aro pin and read entries of aro creators on social media <3

-Paula (Germany)

It really just means being aware that some people don't enjoy romance or don't seek it out, or don't have the same relationship with romance as everyone else. I don't really know what it looks like in my community beyond my peers letting me complain about the negative impacts of amatonormativity in my life without heavy judgment lol

-Anon (US)

It doesn't differ too much in way of meaning, but it usually feels like a really good week, no matter what happens. It isn't recognised here and for all I know, there are no aro week specific happenings. I did hang out with my friends a lot.

-Anon (Serbia)

Raising awareness among the population about the LBGTQIA+ spectrum and the aromantic spectrum since this is not necessarily understood by everyone, and finding a place in society to be accepted by more people.

-Valeo (France)

It means other people using the word 'aromantic' so I can just identify myself without having to prove I exist. It means seeing other people irl and in fiction who feel and live as I do. It means opening up brand new discussions about patriarchy and capitalism and how these influence family structures. It's about inclusion. Intersectionality. On a personal level it looks like feeling comfortable in myself. Embracing and exploring new connections and long standing relationships without trying to shoehorn people into pre-defined boxes. Feeling uncomfortable with myself, feeling like I haven't grown up yet, that I'm being left behind - accepting that this is part of the experience of living in the world as an aro person.

-Lemon (Somerset, UK)

To me, I think arospec awareness means a prioritising of aro voices for the duration of ASAW, and more awareness in the community about the diversity of aro experiences. In my country, AACAU held a panel featuring aro folks talking about their experiences, which I think was a lovely gesture.

-Jo (Australia)

It's non-existent in the country I live in...it's very amatonormative here.

-Anon (Tbilisi, Georgia)

Question 2: What are the benefits and/or limits to ASAW? What suggestions do you have to make ASAW more impactful?

The benefit of ASAW is that it's for every kind of aromantic who can share their stories, art, and experiences in amatonormativity, but what can be some drawbacks is that we can often accidentally (and sometimes even purposefully) limit the voices and specific experiences of aros, such as: aros of color; trans aros; two spirit aros; intersex aros; neurodiverse aros; aro men; and aros whose experiences others feel as though "threatens our legitimacy" as a community. Aros in romantic relationships or are married, aroflux people and arospike people, abroromantics, autoromantics, fictoromantics and orchidspecs, I often don't see a lot in ASAW events.

-Memphis

I feel like it just stays in the community and doesn't really reach out, since I guess its reach is so limited...It's difficult to say what could change that. There are huge lgbtqia+ creators and organisations out there, maybe it could be beneficial in making ASAW more impactful if these people were to talk about it also? It's just an assumption.

-Paula

I think it's rather limited by the community's outreach. We're seen as really small. And we can be sometimes. I'm not sure how we'd make the week more impactful beyond just celebrating it.

-Anon (US)

The pride center doing anything would be a good start.

-Anon (Serbia)

ASAW openly defends the fundamental right to be different from another human. I don't have any particular suggestions to add since ASAW is doing things quite well, other than continuing the fight.

-Valeo

Difficult to say - it's a question of raising awareness but in a way that's not so prescriptivist. I'd like to explore the overlaps with other movements - like we often discuss choosing to remain single/casual sex/platonic partnering in a feminist context but the word 'Aromantic' is not used, that's a missed opportunity. The benefits are obvious - helps people to be and feel seen. To build community. The limits are people's skepticism, rigidity & exclusionist narratives.

-Lemon

I think having a week for aro voices to be prioritised is super important, and is a rare opportunity to focus on the ways in which the community is unique and the unique challenges it faces as a result of that. My biggest complaint is that even during ASAW it felt in many circles that aromanticism was portrayed as a subset of asexuality, or even that ASAW was a fundamentally ace event. As an aroallo, it always feels kind of alienating, and I'd love to see at least some parts of ASAW made specifically distinct from the ace experience, even though I'm aware the communities have significant overlap.

-Jo

Question 3: What are your favorite things to highlight about aromanticism during ASAW?

My favorite thing to highlight about aromanticism during ASAW is the freedom that our identities can bring, and how once we can accept ourselves, we can fully celebrate the defiance that our community brings forth toward a very hetero-allonormative world.

-Memphis

How it's so diverse! I have heard and also personally explained the aro spectrum to people only for them to find that they might belong on it as well. It's important to find a balance between highlighting the no romo at all aros but also the cupio or demiromantics. I love hearing about aro people just happily existing and love aro resources being shared! I have found many cool books I want to read.

-Paula

Just our existences and the ways some of us navigate our aromanticism (i.e. talking about loveless aros, microlabels, etc.)

-Anon (US)

Joy! I don't talk too much about being aro anywhere, I mostly share other's voices, but I love sharing the happy ones during aro week, along with the general "this exists". 

-Anon (Serbia)

How many of us actually exist. How we have always been here. How deeply we belong within the queer community.

-Lemon

I always highlight the fact you can just try a label if you want. If identifying as aromantic or any number of the other arospec identities is appealing, you can just...do it. If it feels good, keep it, if it doesn't, drop it. It costs nothing to experiment.

-Jo

Question 4: What would you like to see in awareness-raising spaces online, in your local community, or from aromantic-centered organizations?

What I would love to see in awareness-raising spaces, and from aromantic-based organizations, is the stories, experiences, art, and voices of aros in all of the nooks and crannies within our minority queer community be given more prominent platforms. Aros that are often overlooked, or pushed out of our own community, being given the lantern to lead other aros during events would be amazing. For my own local community, well, they would have to learn what aromanticism is and that it exists to even start building a local community for aros and aspecs in general.

-Memphis

Maybe open spaces to connect.

-Paula

I'm not sure. Maybe collaborating efforts? Unfortunately this year's asaw was timed the same as a strike for Palestine. Perhaps having more awareness for things like that would help potentially in the future, if it were to ever happen again. Ideally I'd like to see us try to pool together donations or something for the cause. But I know that's not really related to aromanticism, and the next year may not lead to a strike on the same week.

-Anon (US)

More aro history, literature & media. More discussion and representation of atypical relationships (i.e. poly, QPRs) It'd also just be nice to see the aro flag on badges and stickers more often!

-Lemon

I would love to see more events or initiatives coming from non-aro focused orgs. I feel like the burden of making ASAW happen falls exclusively on orgs focusing on aromanticism, and I wish broader queer orgs in my community would make an effort to celebrate it with us. Aro is a queer identity, and should be treated as such.

-Jo