What to do about elusive aromantic representation
Written by the AUREA Team
Word count: 1477
Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
In a world that presents a certain (often limited) way of living as ‘normal’, its no wonder that queer people are desperate for respresentation. We find ourselves searching this lacking landscape of Hollywood and capitalism for something that even remotely reflects us. The media is arguably a poor thing to pin all your hopes on, but there is no denying the huge influence it has on society and its perceptions. People rally behind celebrity figures and fictional characters with passionate ease. How can aromantics take advantage of that?
What is media representation?
Media representation is all about the portrayal of certain peoples or ideas. For us, media representation is Jughead (of the Archie comics) and Peridot of Steven Universe. There are others, dozens of others, but in terms of big, recognizable names with far reach, we don’t have much to work with.
Already you can see that this is a flawed process. Jughead has been co-opted by the media and is now just another straight boy. If you were to ask the general population about characters who don’t feel romantic love they might just throw Voldemort in your face. These offerings of irredeemable villains and erasure are more than meagre, they’re insulting.
This is why if you were to ask the aromantic community about representation we’re much more comfortable naming real people. Out in that distrustful spotlight we have people like Yasmin Benoit, Cavetown, and Moses Sumney. These beautiful people are wearing their identity with pride, and perhaps we should be following in their footsteps. Perhaps the path to good representation for aromantics lies not with fictional characters, but quite literally in our own hands.
What’s the point?
In a homogeneous landscape diversity in media is often people’s first introduction to new and differing perspectives. Representation is education. This richness becomes an example for the people who relate - as in: it is inspirational - and for those who don’t - it widens their worldview. Take Ryan Sinclair, one of the lastest companions to the Doctor in Doctor Who. This character, played by Tosin Cole, is a disabled black man. This show, known worldwide, introduced many people to dyspraxia - a coordination disorder. There’s more to be said here about what specifically it achieves and how well they portrayed the disability, but in terms of creating representation, the show did that. Now when people hear about dyspraxia they have Ryan Sinclair as an example.
Arguably the biggest hurdle aromantics face is the simple fact that people don’t know we exist. Our community is small because the orientation is unheard of. We struggle to tell people about our identity because it becomes a lesson, or worse, a debate. Media representation could take a great deal of the heavy lifting from us.
Consider the journey of Todd Chavez in Bojack Horseman. The show explores asexuality and invites the audience along. They start small with Todd stating he thinks he’s “nothing” because he doesn’t relate to being straight or gay and doesn’t know there are other orientations. It grows into him meeting another asexual character, showing the audience what a relationship between asexual people can look like, and progresses to having an asexual meet-up where many different kinds of asexuals are seen. How many people were naturally educated on asexuality simply by watching a fictional TV show about a depressed horse?
As lovely as the thought is of mainstream media taking that kind of care and attention to detail on an aromantic journey, it's highly unlikely. People seem quite insistent that they don’t want “loveless” stories, that media doesn’t sell unless there’s romance in it somewhere. Never mind that the horror movie industry thrives, found family stories are beloved by all, or that true crime is all the rage right now. It's almost like society tells people they need romantic love in their lives (sarcasm).
So what can we do about it? We don’t have the money to fund a billion dollar media sensation and we can’t trust the media to care or portray aromanticism kindly. Where does that leave us?
Look for opportunities to discuss aromanticism
In a recent article reporting Peridot’s aroace orientation she was described as asexual in the title and then almost exclusively as asexual thoroughout the rest of it. A member of the AUREA team sent a simple email explaining that asexual and aroace aren’t synonms. Hopefully, the article will be corrected.
This is an easy way to help streamline the spread of aromantic information. Big news companies already have the reach and we can keep them in line. Don’t be afraid to correct others. Say what you need to and don’t stick around, they’ll either listen or they won’t. What’s important is that you care to try.
Keep an eye out for allies
Take note of which news companies have talked about queer identities in the past. Then in the future when aro pride events come around and ASAW returns those are the organisations that we can email to share information for us. If you’re worried about not sounding professional, here is a guide to writing a media release, with a free template to demonstrate how a press release gives succinct information.
Contacting big name LGBTQ+ organisations is another way to go about promoting aromanticism. The people running these groups know what it is like to be queer and underepresented, and usually they want to help. They can be contacted for preexisting aro events and if you want to hold one of your own, they have the know how and the resources to assist you in that. While you’re there check their information pages on orientations and see what they have to say about aromanticism, and if they have the right information.
Make the most of the resources that are already out there, like the Aromantic Wiki. If you want to share information, use us. Link our FAQ, link our articles, copy and paste the information we’ve put out. We’re a resource that you can count on.
Putting yourself out there
If you’re comfortable being out as aromantic and in the public eye, contacting news sites and queer organisations about interviews is another way to share the aromantic experience. Yasmin Benoit is an excellent example of how you promote aromanticism as yourself. We don’t have to tell you that using people as representation is a risky move. It’s a lot of pressure to be an educational tool. In a perfect world queer people wouldn’t have to put themselves on the chopping block to be known. Nevertheless, this method does make progress. Here’s someone’s story on how Yasmin inspired them to tell their friends about their asexual identity.
For a more anonymous way of talking about your identity, many newspapers have sections for the public to talk about thoughts and opinions on relevant topics. The world loves to make romance relevant, there’s Valentine’s Day, couples discounts, social issues, and countless other examples. Try writing a little blurb about being aromantic - what it is, what your experiences are. The majority of the public probably won’t like it, but you’ll reach a whole new audience who have never heard about aromanticism. In being seen, you could make someone else feel seen.
Less media but still representation
Are you in academics? Write about aromanticism, delve deep into research and get others interested. Queer theory discusses social norms from a queer perspective. That’s something aromantics do with amatonormativity all the time.
At the time this is being written we’re all under isolation, but once we’re allowed back out in the world, print the resources we provide. Pin them up on the library notice board, at your school, or in queer resource centres. Tell your local area about aromanticism in an environment where they are willing to learn.
For now, and always, keep creating! Write that novel you’ve been planning, where every character is aromantic because you want them to be. Create art pieces that question society’s views on romance. Keep writing that fanfiction and those headcanons, tell people why you relate to the characters that you do. Make aromantic playlists that loudly express your feelings. People love the arts and media representation tells a story.
reality is
The world is slow to change, it’s important to remember that. Simply by existing you’re showing people that there’s a different way to live. When you say you aren’t interested in relationships, someone else knows they can be also. When you say romance doesn’t make sense to you, but you want it anyway, you show people that romance is what you make it. While we need people and characters to proudly say “I am aromantic”, you don’t have to be the one to do it that exact way
Media representation fails minorities across the board, this is a fact. When an aromantic character has been created it makes a big impact, but that doesn’t mean we can rely on the media to do all the work. Despite this progress is being made. Here’s an up-and-coming dating sim where you can be anyone, date anyone, multiple people if you like, or date no one at all and it doesn’t affect how intimate your relationships are. Soon the YA novel Loveless will join the shelves and the next generation of readers will grow up knowing aromanticism is normal. And Cavetown’s latest album is out: sleepyhead. All of this media, while small, will make an impact. Our voices are quiet, but they’re out there.